Harriet
by another.maggie
Summary: Basically a missing talk from the end of 12*24 or beginning of 13*01. April meets Harriet for the first time.


**A/N: Because of the positive vibes from 'The life of Samuel' I chose to publish this work (already up on my AO3). A little sniplet of the new family (leave it to Shonda to cut all Japril scenes -.-' I mean, she got them divorced in the first place).**

* * *

One hour. It took April one hour to wake up after enduring surgery without any kind of sedation, after undergoing another round of surgery passed out from pain. One hour.  
Jackson could hardly believe it.

He could have lost her. Lost both of them. His wife, his daughter... ex-wife. His ex-wife.  
No, screw that. She isn't just his ex. Someone to scratch out of his life and forget about. They are not like that. April is his best friend.  
His badass best friend, who just survived field surgery with a kitchen knife and dish towels and no way to dull the pain. And all of this to save their child.

* * *

Harriet.  
They agreed on the names weeks before. Joshua and Lydia. Agreed isn't the right word. Compromised. April wanted Joshua and Harriet. Jackson wanted Felix and Lydia. They could have fought over it, but they didn't. They don't do that anymore. They compromise. And he won. They have a healthy baby girl, whose name should be Lydia.  
But it isn't.

She's Harriet. Harriet Kepner-Avery.  
That's what Jackson had them put on the birth certificate, anyway. He hasn't spoken to April. Yet.  
But he will. Right now.

Their daughter is warm and wide awake snuggled against his chest. She's gorgeous, healthy. He's never felt that much gratitude before.  
Well, maybe when April chose him over Matthew and ran away with him. When she chose to be his wife forev-  
No. This is different. Marriage isn't forever. Not necessarily. Parenthood is.

* * *

April isn't facing him when they enter the room. Her head is turned towards the window. He can only wonder what she's thinking. Once upon a time he might have asked and she probably would have told him. Not today, though. Not today.

"Hey", he says softly as not to startle her.  
He startles her anyway.

She turns around in a hurry and winces when she stretches her fresh stitches.

"April!", he exclaims, worried.

"I'm... fine", she huffs, blinking her eyes. "Is that...?"

There's really no point in arguing – and they don't do that anymore anyway – so he just comes round the side of her bed. "Yeah. This is her."

Tears fill April's eyes and he realizes. She was lying there looking out of the window, because she didn't know. She passed out during birth. She didn't know.  
Dammit – he thought getting Harriet first would be better, but now he thinks about it he should have come to April first and told her...

* * *

"We've got a baby girl", she whispers in awe.

Jackson swallows. She's so beautiful. He might have lost her today, but he didn't. He might have lost her seven months ago when he forced her to sign those papers, when she could have walked away and he would have been none the wiser, but she didn't. They didn't lose each other.  
"Yes, we do."

* * *

April reaches her arms out towards Harriet and a thousand thoughts cross Jackson's mind. Can she hold the baby so soon after surgery? Is it safe? If it was a normal c-section, sure, but those wounds- they had been huge and she surely was not healed yet...  
But bringing Harriet and then taking her away without April once holding her? That was cruel, he couldn't do that. He couldn't.

"Careful..."

"Shush, I know how to hold a baby, Jackson."  
Seven months ago that would have been an insult. Today it isn't.

Harriet settles easily into her mother's arms. Where she belongs. If April is hurting it doesn't show in the huge smile plastered on her face.  
"Hey there little one", she coos, "Hello, Lydia, I'm your mommy..."

Oh. That.

* * *

"Well, actually...?"

"What?" April's eyes are pure panic. "Is something wrong?"

"No... no, everything's fine. It's just... Her name is not Lydia", Jackson says sheepishly. He didn't imagine he'd be so embarrassed to tell her.

"What?" She frowns. "But that's what we agreed on. I know you preferred Emma, but it's so boring-"

"Harriet", he says.

"Harriet?"

"Her name is Harriet."

Her green eyes meet his in a way they have not met for a while. "Harriet?"  
He nods.  
"Thank you."

"It was the least I could do, really", he says and she shakes her head and then it just spills out of him. "Jesus, April. You almost died today- both of you. But you saved her. You saved her when you could have saved yourself. You did that for her. And then you couldn't... you didn't hold her right away, I did, Ben did, but you didn't and it felt so unfair. And I wanted to... I wanted you to be there. For her. Always. Because in that minutes you had her you've already been so much better of a parent than I can ever be and I... in case you, I..."

Their gazes drop to the floor and Harriet respectively. This really isn't a road they want to go down, not even hypothetically.

"I wanted you to be with her, always. So. Yeah." The silence is filled with something- love?-adoration?-gratitude?-wonder? -Jackson can't quite tell. Better cut it before it gets too much. "And she really does look like a Harriet more, don't you think?"

* * *

April looks down at their daughter, smiles. "Yes. Yes, she does... Yes, you do, Harriet, you do..."

Then she turns serious. "Jackson?"

"Mh-mh?"

"You know I couldn't do anything else, because... it didn't matter about me." He tries to stop her right there, but she doesn't let him. "It didn't matter about me, because it mattered about her. If she had died..." April shakes her head, red hair flying, Harriet is watching fascinated. It's probably just a blur to her given newborn's bad eyesight, but still. She already loves it. "If she had died we both would have, too, and I didn't want that- I didn't want that for you."

"Thank you", he says, because what else is there to say? April gave him everything and now he's gonna try to give it back for the rest of his life – their lives (together?).


End file.
